Adios!

I've decided to shut down this blog because.... i'm selfish and don't wanna share my life with you! hahah... just kidding. It's just that after a while, the novelty wears off once again, especially for someone like me who hardly completes what i set out to do without prompting. (blah.. end up talking about myself again! See See!) I've had enough of talking about myself! I always blog when i feel that there is something to be announced to everyone, but it can be so subjective and an inaccurate representation of my life and whenever i read blogs, i get this impression of this person and that person, you know those stereotypes and it's unhealthy. So, i guess i'd rather not say anything at all. The online world of blogging has always been a mystery to me and after one year, it hasn't become clearer to me at all. For me, it just feels good that i am actually writing for an intended audience and when people respond and for now, that's not reason enough to keep writing. Sometimes, i wanna slap my mind upside down for being such a practical person (where's the emotion baby! But do you wanna watch the tears flow? I sure can turn it on!) but anyways, i know this blog will be flushed down cyberspace in time to come anyway so no big deal ending it prematurely.

So, goodbye to my readers (the few of you, haha!). As this blog shuts down, many more are being set up, each with their own purpose, each finding a voice in the scary world of the internet. I guess there are other avenues to channel this little bit of extra energy to blog, like exercising maybe ( when your mother starts saying you're fat/look like jin1 san3 shun4/advises you to eat less prata (MOCK HORROR!), that must be a problem!)

Growing up can be such a pain isn't it! But growing up in an environment such as mine cannot be said to be a pain at all. That would be insensitive to the people around me and disrespectful to my parents who have given up so much for us. And i can see why no love is greater than a parents love for their child. Someday, i wanna be a Mummy too (AH! I'm not going into this maternal instinct thing again! Hell, i'm only Twenteen (Vee, you're our trendsetter!) I guess being an Aunty first is a good start? When i see the look on my sis and her boyfriend's face whenever a cute baby passes... i almost imagine a pregnant sis, bloated cheeks and all...)

So... after blabbering so much, all i want to say is, although we're at a junction of our lives, grappling with issues of insecurity, treading the fuzzy line between teenhood and YOUNG adulthood, it is important to enrich our lives in a meaningful way. Wah lao eh, a finale speech has morphed into another one of those "self-discovery" ones. (As if you'll didn't already know that right!) Yucks!

So, anyway, life is good good good! You can wish for alot of things (like for Jonathan Leong to sing a lullaby to you everynight, swoons), to be richer, to be prettier to be more popular among your peers but man can never be satisfied. It's just like branded goods. When you've attained a certain degree of wealth, you'd willingly spend on your Zara's and Topshop'
s etc but are you satisfed? Your eyes start to get attracted to those luxurious fur coats, decked stylishly on the mannequins beyond the glass panels and often beyond your reach too.

I was just wondering why on earth do people wanna pay up to 15k to these motivational gurus to speak! It's ridiculous! Live your life the way you want it to be led! With that, i'm starting off year 2 on a sprightly note, living my dreams, finding my feet 6754 miles away from home. And i hope you would too!



P/S: Pardon the many a time cringe-worthy factor of this post please! Just had to vomit all these words out. It's the final entry, after this, no more unpolishedgem crap!

I wish i wish i wish...

... i paid more attention during Mrs. Quek's Social Studies lessons, especially the chapters on Venice. You know, i've been to so many beautiful places in Europe and it's such a shame that i know so little about the history of these places. It's as if there's a hole missing somewhere in my heart.

I look at all the photographs of these places and it's just so beautiful, i wonder why i didn't heed my uncle's advice to read up on the history of these places before i went. Especially for Italy and France, both such beautiful countries ... like literally bursting with history and culture. There is no time for regrets is there? But in the next two years, i promise i'll read up on those countries that i'm going to before leaving. Or do you realize what you've missed out on only after seeing that such beauty actually exists and you're fortunate enough to have been there?

I will also try to take nicer pictures, i'm so horrible at these! ie, less focus on people, and more on the background.

Fry away...

I think late nights are so totally suited for reflecting... accompanied with Jay Chou's Ye4 Qu3 on replay for the tenth time. Haha, probably the only thing that could get me to sit down and write again. I've always admired people who could effortlessly translate their thoughts into words... i can only conjur up a garbled mess of incoherent random bits of my life, stopping short at writing it out... which kinda SUCKS. Haha! But i will try not giving up on this little space, cos i suspect i'll be much more compelled to update than now, where everything is just so familiar, so easily within reach and so Singapore.

It's been two months since coming back... sure doesn't feel that long! 3 weeks to London and i think everyone's getting more excited about leaving already which is a good thing! Had my fair share of fun, sun, abs-inducing laughter, catching up with my dearest friends, eating, basking in the love of mummy and daddy dearest and my sisters even though sometimes i have really sadistic thoughts of squishing my younger sister's mouth cos that mouth of hers can really make me smile and cringe from one second to the next, she's growing so fast (gotta check out her calf muscles man... wah lao eh, and we're going jogging tmr early in the morning, her grand plan to be a cool athelete! hahaha) and i'm really happy to see her blossoming into a fine young lady... kim gek like and sporty( guy's favourite right... my sis has so much potential!), yeah hopefully she'll be alot less rough than me! I really hope to see my elder sis find happiness and get married, i think girls all have an intrinsic fear of marriage, like you don't know what to expect and what kinda role you're expected to fulfill.. okae.. too many talks by mummy... all the sex education stuff... MUMMY, i'm TWENTY! and Vera's THIRTEEN and you're saying the same stuff to both of us!!! ie how to say NO to the guy when he asks for it. haha! We just pretend to be really wide-eyed listening when we're actually giving each other THE LOOK. Yeah, back to the point on my elder sis... her boyfriend wants to marry her, so scary ain't it! And my mummy's so excited about choosing wedding gowns and dowry that kinda stuff... it's going full circle isn't it... But of course nothing's concrete, my sis isn't prepared to marry him, but all could change when i come back next year? Or even before that? That's what i like about life, the unpredictability, it may wear you out sometimes but it also makes life more exciting.

Come end September, i'll be out of this country once again, but this time, i'm so much more certain of what to expect, how i'm going to start off my year two, but at the same time there are alot of things i haven't experienced like watching an EPL soccer match, i'm just SLOW, going on road trips within the UK, discovering London more, going to Eastern Europe, and i feel like going to New York tooo.... oh money money, making MORE friends, being a good housemate, learning a new language maybe, taking part in events, looking forward to living in my own place (anyone got taboo? i'm in love with the game!), decorating it, back to the cooking lifestyle AH!!! my disastrous cooking skills which i have no motivation to improve over the holidays... how how how when you're always so well fed and fat here. I just wanna eat and shop till i drop here! Better go back to London and lose some weight man. Haha! It's all in the mind right... Home is not that far away! It's just there... right next to your heart. Eeeks... that must sound REALLY corny... hahaha!

For now... i still wanna meet YOU all.. ! I must see you all so much until i Don't wannt see you at all for the next 9 months. HAHA! But time is just flying So fast away!!