Unpolished Gem

Saturday, November 29, 2008

What it takes to put life into perspective

This morning, I woke up reluctantly at 12.30pm after a night of very controlled drinking with many men and girl talk with Nat. My mum called with news that a 28 year-old Singaporean girl has been killed in the Mumbai terrorist attacks. She was described as bubbly, confident, passionate and kind. These are words I associate with myself and while I have not achieved all of the above, I hope that with experience and exposure to this grand institution called life, I will in due time. She was the eldest in a family of 3 girls and a career woman who lived life to the fullest. This news struck a chord in me because I could have been the one, or any of my friends. The first thing that hit me was, this is so tragic, uncalled for and senseless and imagining how her family and husband had to cope with this untimely tragedy. The next thing that hit me was thinking of a solution- governments and intelligence agencies world wide nab the bad guys. And finally, what carpe diem really means. (So much for being trained to think logically by the Singapore education system)

So I’ve been working for 2 months in a British company (ie mostly English people) and have assimilated well into their way of life. Yeah, fake English accent and all. Some of the key things I’ve learnt from them:

1. Not to take life and yourself too seriously- Work hard when you have to, relax when you don’t; Joke about yourself, ie self-depracating humour which I love. Get fired? Think of what to do with your redundancy pay.
2. Graciousness- Being polite and respectful to everyone. I’m sure we’ve all learnt that in school but we don’t show it openly enough. Praise when someone deserves it and accept praises with thanks (Think I’ve always done that anyway )
3. Family- English people do value their family ties a lot more than Americans. I am generalizing of course, I can see some Americans throwing daggers at me already. We are not that different from them in that respect.
4. Traditions- They are fiercely proud of their traditions, Queen’s English, high tea, horse-racing, Marks & Spencers. And they generally dislike America and all things American. R&B, Hip-hop???

There I’ve got my list, my friends will be appalled by how regimented I am but at the same time, respect that I come from a different background, make jokes about it but I never let what others think of me affect my self-confidence! (Easy to say, I’ve certainly gone through phases of being easily affected!!). I’ve got a lot to learn from them just as they do me. A lot of the reason why people think they are snobs is because they are a country that has never been conquered in history, they’ve never had to accommodate or pander to anyone unlike say Singapore, we learnt English because we were conquered by them! (A lot of them do recognize the good points in our upbringing!) But we are ethnically Chinese and suck at the language which is why I’m fiercely brushing up now through Chinese lessons. On a personal and professional level, I’ve learnt:


1. If you don’t know, say you don’t. Don’t waffle or worst yet, give completely false answers with a straight face!
2. Not to get angry with people when things go wrong- Channel all your anger into something constructive that will prevent such situations from occurring again in the future. Eg, I was stood up twice by a personal trainer at the gym, instead of getting all flustered and screaming at him, I just went straight to the manager to get it reported and requested for another personal trainer, that is all there is to it.
3. Learning to say no- Guys love buying girls drinks. That is a very vague way of putting it. In my situation, men love buying young women drinks, you have to learn to cheat (tips not to be revealed, girls ONLY). Drink enough to loosen up, but not enough to get yourself into their bed!
4. If something ain’t right- you just gotta go out and get it fixed baby- TV not working, get it fixed. Room tornadoed- get it cleaned. (Even if you procrastinate a month, get it done in the end, heh!)
5. Cherishing your roots- I attended the HC alumni dinner with Mr. Ang and Mrs. Chin, it was great hearing all the programmes they were putting in place and updates on the school development. I will definitely ask my little sis to go to HC.
6. Economics alive!- The world has almost gone crazy in these times, we’ve not had it so bad because we are not middle-aged men who have mortgages to pay and children and wives to feed. Regrets studying economics? None.

I’ve always appreciated that I’ve had it good as a kid but I think I don’t realize how well I’ve been raised until I started working. I can keep thinking I’ve got the world figured out, but like what one of my colleagues described me, I am really still a baby. Which I think he means in the guys department, they have obviously underestimated how fast I learn. Anyway, this men/work crashcourse helped me to come to terms with my past “relationship”, if I get fired, I’d say, thank you for this crashcourse! London is great for single and unmarried people (yes to all my deprived Singaporean girl friends, there is a fair amount of good lookers here). I do think I’ll be staying out here for a while amidst the economic and political turbulence. Then again, judging by how fickle I am, maybe I’d say I wanna fly home tomorrow.

I’d like to end with saying a prayer for this girl, Lo Hwei Yen. I do not know her and I do not think it should take something so tragic to remind everyone that tomorrow could be your last day. Such is the fragility of life. I’d like to give thanks to my family and all my friends for sticking with me through these times and for keeping me grounded. Keep loving, keep learning and be happy.

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