Oops... i did it again

Well, you can guess the outcome of the test from the title right. I am in distress mode now! Damn sad, one wrong turn and that was IT. Can't believe i was so blind not to see the car coming, what was i thinking?? One immediate failure... bye bye! Accumulated 22 points and the tester said he would have let me pass if not for that IMMediate failure, who else to blame but myself right. Man, i was trying my best to be vigilant, even wore a hairband to prevent my hair from blocking my sideview( you know what happened on first try, got accused of not checking vehicles on side road ). Think i was too happy that the circuit was so empty (only the cars on test were using it) that i wasn't alert enough. Still, i FAILED! I really hate to hear that word. Strange things happen when you're sitting for your test somehow, it's so demoralising. And i won't forget that big fat lexus who refused to give way to me on the road, just kept speeding up and i ended up having to change lane abruptly, stupid big car. I propose putting the double L plates on top of the car, sort of like an ambulance siren so the whole world can see that this fella's on TEST so give WAY and stay AWAY.

Let's see, i've gone from being confident for my first test(silly amateur) to feeling really nervous ( like today when i LSed before the test). So what will my state be for the next test? I could very well picture failing again, what's surprising? Afterall, i failed twice! What if i get a sickening tester for my third time, i'll just faint and die lah! This really sucks, where in the world does it get harder to earn a driving license? I look at the MANY MANY cars on the road and i'm still in disbelief that all these people actually had to go through so much to get a driving license. I got a good test route, fine weather, okae tester, okae traffic but the determining factor was myself and i FAILED. I hate driving now. It's just so much easier to fail than to pass. Maybe i shouldnt complain so much, afterall, i spoke to ppl in my session who've failed like 4 times and are still optimistic acout passing, this aunty who has taken 50 auto lessons and here i am whining like a sore loser. Out of the about 10 ppl in my session, only 2 people passed, that's so pathetic. And this guy whom i thought passed because he came out of the room all smiling actually failed, i should learn from him right and take it with a pinch of salt.

So, i went for retail therapy with my mother though i was in a really foul mood. I realise that it's a bigger mistake to go for retail therapy when all the clothes that you see suck. We saw Diana Ser, she's really puny, i think James Lye can crush her up with his fists. Haha. Ended up buying underwear, i strongly recommend wacoal for all less well-endowed ladies, they just fit the asian frame better... hee hee. And then i indulged in a really strange combination of foods, madelenes( dont know how it is spelt, it's just this English kueh balu ) with dried mangoes, downed with chicken essence. I just wanted to drown my "sorrows".

My parents don't seem to be affected by it. But i'm spending so much of their money! Feeling really guilty for my incompetence. How ?... i can really imagine failing again and again, i could go on forever failing! No, i Must get a job and stop bumming around at home, stop thinking about driving and start doing something productive. Shiping are you back? Let's look for a job together! And Meilin, if you're going to quit anytime soon, we can go job hunting together!

There's alot of TV to watch tonight, starting from 8pm... yay, something to distract me from the fact that i have FAILED yet again. Such a disappointment.